O.K. A LITTLE PERSONAL, I JUST NEED A LITTLE PIECE OF...

GOOD

 OH...GET YOUR DIRTY LITTLE MINDS OUT OF THE GUTTER....I JUST NEED A LITTLE PIECE OF SOFT TOILET PAPER.  IF YOU HAVE EVER SPENT A LITTLE TIME IN HOTELS YOU SOON FIND OUT THAT HOTELS ACTUALLY USE 2000 GRIT SANDPAPER IN PLACE OF REAL TOILET PAPER.   IF YOU REMEMBER, I DID SPEND OUR FIRST DAY IN VEGAS ON THE COMODE (SOUNDS MUCH CLASSIER THAN SAYING THE SHITTER.)    THE LAST TIME I HAD ANYTHING SOFT  RUB  UP AGAINST MY ARSE WAS WHEN WE WERE AT MISS MIMI'S HOME (SHE ALSO HAD THE SOFTEST SHEETS I HAVE EVER SLEPT ON).  NOW I AM REALLY ENTERING A DANGER ZONE..AS YOU CAN SEE THE ONLY CANADIAN SMOKES I HAVE LEFT ARE IN THAT PICTURE..YEAH, YEAH....I CAN HEAR YOU ALL NOW...WELL THIS WOULD BE A GREAT TIME TO QUIT...NO,NO,NO.....I WILL NOT GIVE IN TO PEER PRESSURE, I AM NOT, I REPEAT NOT A QUITTER.  SINCE WE LEFT HOME SO QUICKLY WE DID NOT BRING ENOUGHT CIGS...NOR DID WE BRING ENOUGH OF OUR MEDICATIONS.....NO ONE WANTS TO SEE ME WITHOUT MY MEDS ! AND AS LONG AS YOUR MINDS ARE NO LONGER IN THE GUTTER...WHY DID NO ONE EVER TELL ME ABOUT GETTING GREY HAIR THERE........YOU KNOW WHERE.....I DISCOVERED MY FIRST GREY HAIR IN MY.....WHAT...ARE YOU SAYING YOU DON'T HAVE GREY HAIR THERE YET.  I DON'T BELIEVE YOU, ANYWAY I FOUND IT,  I WAS JUST CASUALLY CHECKING THINGS OUT...YOU KNOW , LIKE WE ALL DO AFTER WE HAVE A SHOWER AND THEN LOOK INTO THE MIRROR....THERE IT WAS...I ACTUALLY JUST THOUGHT IT WAS MY NATURAL BLONDE (giggle) COLOR.....BUT NOPE, THERE IT WAS, WHERE EVERYONE COULD SEE IT......RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF MY EYEBROW.    I PLUCKED THAT SUCKER OUT SO FAST I HAD TEARS IN MY EYES FOR AN HOUR.   OH YEAH, AND ON A SIDE NOTE, TERRY HAS DISCOVERED THE CURE FOR BALDNESS.  HE IS  TAKING A NEW MEDICATION FOR GLAUCOMA AND THE SIDE EFFECT IS....IT MAKES HIS EYELASHES GROW....WHAT THE FRICK...HOW COME HE GETS THE GOOD DRUGS.  SO  I HAVE FINALLY LEARNED HOW TO SMOKE STINKY AMERICAN SMOKES AND I THINK THE CURE FOR US BOTH RUNNING OUT OF OUR MEDS IS.......WE ARE GOING TO EXCHANGE DRUGS WITH EACH OTHER AND SEE WHAT HAPPENS  !! AND THAT IS ALL I HAVE TO SAY ABOUT THAT.

BAD

UGLY